To the Witch Who Hit My Van and Ran

(Crossposted from Edgy Mama. We're looking for a green Toyota SUV with NC plates and a silver-colored scrape on one bumper, y'all!)


Dear Wicked Witch,

There are other names I'd like to call you, but this is a PG-13 blog (mostly). Truthfully, I don't need to resort to name-calling to tell you how I feel about you. You suck. You have no integrity, decency or civility.

How did you think you could get away with hitting a car parked on a city street at 10:30 in the morning without someone reporting you? Which they did. A kind woman and her teenage son, horrified by the crash and that your callousness, wrote down your license plate number and a description of your gas-guzzling goliath. Unfortunately, the friendly and helpful police officer is not sure why the license number seems to belong to a Honda Civic in a town far from here. Either the sweet woman miswrote your tag number or you are driving a car with a stolen plate. For your sake, I hope it's the former, because you are already on a slippery slope. A slope basted with gasoline, mud and broken plastic.

So, WW, how did you manage to hit a stationary object? Accidents happen. Maybe you spilled coffee in your lap. Maybe a squirrel ran in front of your car. When accidents happen, most people accept responsibility. They act out of integrity. But you? You didn't even get out of your effing SUV. You hit the gas and took off.

I suppose I should be thankful that I wasn't loading the two preschoolers I had with me into my van at the moment of impact. I suppose I should be thankful that the damage isn't worse. I suppose I should be thankful that no one, not even you, was hurt. But I'm not thankful. I'm pissed.

Because while I was on a field trip to the library with my son's preschool class, while I was watching goofy librarians sing and dance, you were ramming my primary mode of transportation and running away, without remorse. But with, I hope, fear. I hope you don't sleep well tonight. I hope Officer Butch tracks you down. I hope you are woman enough to accept responsibility and apologize.

If you do apologize, I will accept it. With integrity. And your insurance information.

Sincerely,

Edgy Mama