Saturday, August 20, 2005

Real 40-year-old virgin found at WLOS

ASHEVILLE (AP) - Hollywood's got a potential hit on its hands with the new big-screen comedy "40 Year Old Virgin," but a real-life, not-so-swinging stag has been discovered at an Asheville TV station.

Arthur Krunkleton, 40, has worked inside WLOS-TV 13's engineering department for 19 years, according to the station's manager. Krunkelton was discovered after the station's news director jokingly sent out an e-mail asking for suggestions on angles for a local take on the new Hollywood release starring funnyman Steve Carell.

Krunkelton replied: "Uh, guys. I'm 40. And I'm a, well, you know, celibate."

The news got mixed reaction at the station. Scott "Scottie2Hottie" Wickersham, a dashing young anchor who just wed Georgia beauty queen Candice Little, said he wasn't surprised.

"I suspected as much," Wickersham said. "I never really came out and asked him, but he was asking me how I did my eyebrow thing, because he thought that was really cool. And he wanted to know how I did my hair. I shared a few of my products, but hey, a stud like me can't give away all his secrets, can he?" chuckled Swick.

John "Punnyman" Le, 39, expressed more relief than sympathy.

"I just got laid last year. Yup, I did the horizontal mambo, baby. I made the two-backed monster of love. We... uh, that's all I can think of right now," Le said. "Just under the wire. Thank God for those Bele Chere after-parties."

WLOSers, knowing that they've got a great story on their hands, are reportedly working quietly behind the scenes on a local report. Some of the ideas: Having JenX take Krunkelton on a date to a foam party on Lexington Avenue; hooking the stag up with Jenny "Getting it Done" Dunn to see if they "get it done;" having Russ "Beefcake" Bowen film a makeover with Arthur in a two-part series about good grooming and manners; another series, this one involving anchor Tammy Watford leading the way on a sex-ed "Never Stop Learning" report; and secretly filming Krunkelton on a sexy date with Candice.

Word has it that the station is also in talks with ABC higher-ups, who want Krunkelton for their own purposes - a new reality show next year titled, "The 41-year-old Virgin."

Cross posted from Ashvegas

1 comment:

Michele said...

I was wondering if you have the contact info of Arthur. I am working on a program for Discovery Health about sexuality and sexual health. I was hoping to reach out to him to see if he would be willing to share his story. Please email me at if you know how I could get in touch with him if he is in fact, still a virgin. Thanks