By no means is this an admission that I care about the community in Asheville. In fact, if it fell into some sort of parallel universe where "dog" really meant "marshmallow" I'd probably get a boner and rub it on Gordon Smith's tight, pleasuring himself to swimsuit photos of Robin Cape constantly, abs. But that doesn't mean that I don't like your comments and web traffic.
With that being said, what was once called "So Much for Tact" is now being called "Bugg Blog". Please update your crap accordingly.
Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to go on record as saying that I have a bit of an alcohol problem and after a bottle of bourbon I have trouble maintaining an erection and that I've been suffering from depression since the age of 19. Despite these problems I'm still 10 times better a writer than anyone currently writing at the Xpress (save Jason Sanford), funnier than George the Bastard and would undoubtedly make love to any woman reading this in a way that their impotent husbands or boyfriends would never have the guts to try to (I'm referring to in the back of my Saturn).
Also, referring to yourself as hip or edgy doesn't make you either. I came up with all the ideas for Star Wars and any Seth Rogan movie.
I'll leave you now. Go back to your unfulfilled lives and this space on the internet's normal billboard for whatever limp wristed Gordon Smith cause of the week and whatever Jenny Bowen is crucifying herself to.
I love you.
I hate you.
Jason Bugg
6 comments:
Jason drinking a lot of alcohol is probably the worst thing you can do when you suffer from depression.
On an unhappy note, you might enjoy this, Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy.
You may have some redeeming value as a writer in your depression.
jason,
where front-paging your news about the name change of your blog is right on time, as is some of your latest writings at the bugg blog, i have to say i find some of this post in poor taste and dont think its really appropriate for the front page of our community blog.
I find you to be a douche nozzle, so I guess we are even. Now take your limited amount of power loving self somewhere else.
You make no exceptional claims (save the one about Jason Sanford... really, he does need to be saved from many things, such as trying to win the not-job lottery, which has stolen focus from his role as the blingiest distributor of local-news crack). As usual, your ego appears to be as large as your whiskied flaccidity isn't. Even your claim as sexual conquistador fails to intrigue. Saturn is nothing like Uranus.
Oh look, someone is trying to get rid of their fifty cent words before the taxman cometh.
Cometh on this, knave.
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